


a sleepover with an angel (without any sleep)

by girl412



Series: first day of the rest of their (ineffable) lives [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Sleepovers, Softness, crowley is overthinking & overfeeling because this author is overthinking & overfeeling, implied ptsd at least, its projection hours in this house tonight, no smut though it's just flangst, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 11:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20257690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl412/pseuds/girl412
Summary: Crowley spends the night at Aziraphale's place, sharing a bed with his best friend, but he can't sleep.Everything's alright, Armageddon has been averted, so why doesn't he feelsafe?





	a sleepover with an angel (without any sleep)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [autoenyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/autoenyo/gifts).

> you know the song crooked teeth by dcfc has the line "& we shared a bed in which i could not sleep at all" and that's like, the entire theme of this drabble. 
> 
> thank you caly for looking this over, as always. vans - if you're reading this ily and hope you're having a great day! big hugs to fran...... and L - of course i'm dedicating this one to you. i'd have it no other way.

The light spills in from the open window by Aziraphale’s bed. Crowley and Aziraphale are lying there in the dark. Angels and demons don’t need sleep, per say, but Crowley and Aziraphale have spent enough time on Earth that both of them usually sleep the night, unless they have urgent work to do during that time. What’s a lifetime of nights when you’ve got all of eternity stretched out for you to use, and all that. 

Crowley takes a deep breath, feeling like he’s on the verge of drowning. He stares at Aziraphale’s wallpaper in an attempt to calm himself down. It’s a soft pastel blue with roses patterned on it, but in the grey-silver light of the moon and the stars, it looks like an entirely different colour. The entire bedroom is characteristic to Aziraphale. There are books and leaflets in haphazard piles everywhere, and one of the walls has a series of photographs of ducks duct-taped to it, along with miscellaneous souvenirs from things he and Crowley have been doing in the past century – tickets to theatres, to the opera, to movies, lunch bills, even spare change. Crowley tries to remind himself that he belongs here. 

Aziraphale lets out a soft huff of air that sound suspiciously like a snore. Crowley smiles to himself.

It’s still not enough to quell the feeling of anxiety that’s rising through him.

Crowley moves closer to Aziraphale, careful not to wake him. Gently, he wraps his arms around the angel, manoeuvring himself so that his forehead is pressed against Aziraphale’s shoulder. He takes another deep breath.  


_It should be easier. _

The two of them had known, had understood from the beginning, that their friendship and their agreement would get them into trouble if they were caught. The risk had certainly thrilled Crowley, who suspected that it had secretly thrilled Aziraphale as well, even though the angel would likely rather be discorporated than admit it. They’d both always known that if they were caught, consequences would be worse for Crowley. Aziraphale could Fall, but Crowley couldn’t fall any further. If it was found out that his conduct was too inappropriate even for a demon, there was no telling what would be done to him. This was a fear they never spoke about, but it was a fear they both recognized. It was the reason Aziraphale had ultimately given Crowley the holy water, at great risk to himself.

Of course, after that, both of them had rebelled enough to be outcast from their respective sides, and they’d survived that. Some part of Crowley didn’t know what to do with the assurance of peace. 

_You should let yourself relax, _Anathema would tell him. He remembered the conversation she’d been having with Aziraphale one day when she’d come over to visit the bookshop. She’d been talking about her psychology degree, about counselling. 

“Some people won’t let themselves be happy,” she’d been saying. “Their defence mechanisms are so attuned to sadness that they can barely function without it.” 

Crowley thinks this is him, except with danger. His mind doesn’t know what to do now that the risk is gone. Now that they’ve finally been left alone, he isn’t sure what that means for him.

Aziraphale moves in his sleep, and then goes still. Judging by the shift in his breathing, Crowley guesses that he’s woken up. He is proven correct when Aziraphale moves Crowley’s hands carefully, and turns around to face him. 

“What’s the matter, my dear?” he says softly. “Can’t sleep?” 

Crowley looks at him, wondering how his yellow reptile eyes look in the moonlight. He wants to say _I’m scared, _but he doesn’t think he has what it takes. He just shakes his head, and lets Aziraphale enfold him in an embrace.

“It’s been a difficult time,” Aziraphale says, not doing a very good job of keeping the concern out of his voice. “Crowley, my love, you know I won’t judge you for however you feel. We’ve both been through so much, after all.” 

Demons don’t need to cry, just the way demons don’t need to sleep. This doesn’t mean that demons are incapable of it. Crowley feels his eyes sting, and buries his face into Aziraphale’s shoulder. 

“You’re safe here,” Aziraphale murmurs. 

_I love you_, Crowley thinks. 

He doesn’t say anything.

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed that!!!!!!!!  
i crumbled & made a good omens tumblr sideblog @ botanicallycrowley, feel free to pop in & say hello or tag me in things!!! much love <3 <3 <3


End file.
